Archive for 'Review'

I was under some conflict about what to write. See Skyrim has pretty much turned me out so that’s on my brain. I have been getting a little quality time with Assassin’s Creed Revelations. It starts where Brotherhood left off. You run the assassin’s like the bad motherfucker you are, ripping up Constantinople yeah! The most impressive aspect of the whole creed series is the plethora of games all jammed in one. Like a gang bang for the senses if you will. I was able to preorder the signature edition,it includes Creed 1. You can see HOW far the series has come. A long way from the barley controllable original. I’ve become so dependent on the map that I spent most my time trying to find out where I was. All in all if you’re looking for a kick ass action title this or Arkham are your best bang for the buck. The new Uncharted was truly cool, but unless you have a ps3 and want to spend 60 bucks on a game I beat in 12 hours. So the ‘Fool wishes you all the best,as I go to my villa in Amsterdam for holiday. Unless detained by customs I will return after the new year. May the gaming gods smile upon you! Remember if you drink and drive keep to the side streets! You can always tell the cop you are having a stroke and driving yourself to the hospital.

I f your like me and played NBA jam at the arcade with friends and couldn’t wait for a second one, It never truly happened but the answer to that is On-Fire Edition

Gameplay:
The gameplay was great in the old one and it feels refined. The feeling of double front flip dunking over your friend is a good feeling
You can push fuckers when they’re being assholes(in game) and they’res a chance that they’ll drop the ball and you can then pull a slama jamma dunk on them.
the only part that takes away from the fun is the goal tending rule which can be disabled on the Play Now(Jam Now) mode. Also the fact that the AI is fucking hard even on easy mode.
Good Gameplay anybody can play even a squirrel, No fatality code to pull off a Dunk

Graphics:
The visuals are great for a remake. All the parts of a sports game are set properly(not to realistic, not to whacky). 
The only complaint I can see from people is you can’t switch the graphics from new to old. It’s not a problem for me at all cause I love the new look.
Big Head mode is back

Characters: 
It has all the NBA teams but you can’t play as your favorite benchwarmers sadly.
I think they update the games on holidays cause you can play as Santa or his little elfs

Score:
-A
Great game fun to play with everybody
It’s like sex though you try it with people but when you try it by yourself it’s not the same

Hello Ladies and Gents and welcome to the final part of my Month ‘o  Skyrim. I’m just waiting for the assholes that always ask: When is the next one coming out? It is a question that has plagued the ‘net for to long. That said, you will probably play the next Elder Scrolls on your Xbox 720 or on a superfast next-gen tablet pc that everyone’s so in love with. Jesus is this what the game gods intended? Everybody playing games on their DAMN PHONES! Ok now that I have that partially out of my system on to the game. I’ve done more ‘Rim jobs than George Michael! I’ve been a saint but mostly a sinner, a cook for dinner and I married my butler. I’ve seemed to plateau at level 47, I’ve even read some stuff that spoke of a cap at level 50. I hope that is not the case! Back in the dark ages when my mighty 50 megahertz pc ruled, Elder Scrolls never ended Daggerfall was eternal and it still holds a warm place in my heart where I believe my soul resided. There’s not much I can tell you without putting out spoilers like Carol Shelby. I hope you all have a blast trying to get to level 50. I, like Bruce Banner must move on, helping those in need until I inevitably hurt myself and turn in to a monster. For my next review I’m going to stick to a game I can talk about! Good Gaming and a better buzz to you ’till next time.

Are you too old for Pokemon? Hint: If you’ve found Ballsrog.com then you are too old for Pokemon.  Did you wish Monster Hunter had guns? Do you want me to stop asking questions and start making statements? You got it!  Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker is the definitive and most innovative title:
A) in the Metal Gear series
B) on the PSP

Now, this landmark title is available in the Metal Gear Solid HD collection along with MGS 2 and 3 respectively.  MGS 2 and 3 are what you would expect.  MGS2: Substance and MGS3: Subsistance (Disc 1) with an HD graphics pass as well as optimizing them to run at 60 frames per second ish.  None of this matters because they are the Metal Gear games you love with Trophies/Achievements.  I’ll race you to the Snake Beater trophy.  Already this collection is two scoops of awesome purely because it is two classic games with achievement support but the addition of Peace Walker is the game changer.

For those who are not familiar with Peace Walker, it is the MGS game with Co-op. The plot is similar to that of other Metal Gear games.  There is a WMD out there guarded by bosses and they string each boss battle together with a series of stealth missions.  Each boss battle is an arena style fight between Snake(s) and machine (or monster) and every mission usually revolves around moving from point A to point B without being detected.  For the journey, you can outfit your soldier with weapons and gadgets to make your life easier such as the MGS staple, rations or distractions like smoke bombs.

Where Peace Walker takes a detour from the norm is the Fulton Recovery System.  Simply put; recruiting soldiers.  However, you are not just recruiting soldiers.  You are knocking motherf**kers on their asses, attaching a ripcord and blasting them off into outer space where they catch a flight back to your base.  Then at your base they get brainwashed into being a part of your crew or join willingly. You designate each recruit into roles such as Soldiers (who do the fightin’) Mess Hall (who do the cookin’) or Medicine (who do the healin’) In fact hours can be spent trying to recruit the best around so you can have every unit be at the top of their game.

I will say this HD version of Peace Walker may have missed the boat but it is better late than never.  Peace Walker HD is long overdue, especially for PSP owners who can transfer their save file back and forth between PSP/PS3 and in the future, the PS Vita.  This feature has been dubbed “transfarring” by Hideo Kojima.  It is not a new feature as games like Smackdown vs. Raw have utilized this idea in the PS2 era.  However, transfarring is very useful to keep your game session going on the road.  Then, after you arrive at home, you can continue your quest from your last save in beautiful HD.  Transfarring is the biggest reason to purchase the Metal Gear Solid HD collection.  Transfarring is only available for Peace Walker but after the Vita version of MGS:HDC is released, MGS2 and 3 saves can also be “transfarred” back and forth between PS3/Vita.

With that being said, the PS3 version of Peace Walker (and MGS: HD in general) is the best version by a pubic hair, with transfarring being the only real difference maker between the 360 and PS3 versions.

In closing, I feel that it is worth mentioning that none of these games other than Peace Walker look or play extremely different in HD.  MGS2 and 3 look relatively the same but with smoother graphics and it runs at a better frame rate.  That is it. There are no bonuses or extra Easter eggs to be found.  They are the exact same games you loved back in 2001 and 2004 but will now add to your gamer score.

MGS: HD Collection is three classic games on one disc at a reasonable price.  If there is a reason to re-buy Metal Gear Solid or even give it a shot because you missed out, this is the time to double down on the franchise.  Double thumbs.

Here we go again another clusterfuck of a game that makes more money than a Michael Bay film. Im talking about MW3

Campaign:
It’s a short ass story mode but it’s a nominee for best single player in my book. It follows up the story from MW2 after Soap is shot and stabbed by commander Shepard(not mass effect) and pretty much ruined Soaps day
Your playing the new blank face follower named Yuri(a Japenesse name for Anime lesbians ‘thank you oddcast’) that follows Soap and Price on they’re dating missions to do missions and get that Osam- I mean Makarov.
Price and Soap are bigger better and more badass than they ever were, the badass shit they did made me jizz my pants multiple times.
You also play another blank face but he’s like the filler guy for when the developers found out the game is only 2hrs long if he wasn’t in it at all
Like any story people you care about die new faces are revealed and no they’re Is no Ghost in this his ass was sent on fire, 
This game has the coolest fucking ending ever when it came to making you feel like an ultimate badass and outmatched a high praised movie ending

Multiplayer:
Same ole shit just a different name, kill 5 terrorist and call in a dragon as a airstrike, if you have played black ops then go to this you’ll be angry as me cause all the cool shit that made the community great like creating emblems, having face-paint, contracts, and black ops was balanced.
This mp feels like an update for MW2 cause the graphics are the same the guns are the same, why doesn’t Activision just license the Unreal Engine for call of duty oh I forgot cause Bobby.K treats developers like little girls at a beauty pageant.
It only has one good feature which is from black ops, 2-player online so me and my brother can merc online and still get owned by 7-16yr old pricks.
Support kill streaks is a good feature which lets you ‘support’ your team by getting kills even if you die it’ll still racks up your streak to shit like uav’s remote turrents and more.
They’re is a horde mode wheyre you kill…. You know what you kill and if you find out its not teletubbies then you deserve whatever happens to you at any moment.
No Zombies

Gameplay: 
If it ain’t broken don’t fix it, it’s still intact but the running feels sluggish like these dudes are suppose to be buff ass soldiers not McLovin with guns.
Like black ops some of the accuracy of the guns are off the charts, and if you love getting knifed from 5 million feet away or getting quick scoped from an eye hole then you’ll love this shit
I recommend listening to the ballscast while playing cause the water-gun sound design won’t give you any eargasms

Graphics:
Same ole shit like I said before but if mw2 hurt your eyes like it did mine ten you’ll be screwed cause they quadrupled the bloom setting for this game which blinds me

Score:
-C
The multiplayer was the thing that was suppose to make you ten feet taller and your penis bigger but it sucks. Your better off renting the game and running through the 4hr campaign

Forza 4 is back and better peeps. Fans of racing/simulation will no doubt already be on the track tearing up the asphalt. Forza 4 for starts, is a gorgeous game all around, the car models are doper then ever and car mayhem sounds fantastic. The game feature the World tour mode which covers 10 seasons of races/challenges for you to conquer. There are about over 150 race just in that mode alone, once you crunch that you will have over 400+ race left to go, this game is fucking massive. I believe when I finished the World Tour I was like only 12% done the game, I was like WTF! There are tons of events to go around for every make model and class. I love Gt5, but they have been shown up big time in this category, and especially in DLC. Where Forza 4 has already had 2 car packs released in one month, it took GT5 a year to release ONE! Ugh. Of course the damage is a million times better too, crank that on sim and your car basically blow up! Forza started that shit for sure, and GT has yet to even compare in that category also. At the start of the game you are tossed in a Ferrari and get to blast around a track, sounds good right? What sucks is EVERY noob friendly assist is set on, so you can just basically hold down the RT and steer and win! I turn most to all of the assists off to get a true feeling of the cars, where as the game sets you up as if your a basically a baby. I get it, it can have a more wider appeal with these all these assist on, if you suck at driving games. I have never been a fan of the rewind feature either, it is still in there but I turn it off for a bigger payout at the end of the race. Autovista mode is a gallery and showcase of select cars from the game, where you can walk around a pop the hood, trunk, doors and other parts of the car and listen to Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear tell you all about it. It’s a nice touch, but nothing to really brag about really. The online aspect has more modes now, with the Rivals mode the Forza community sets challenges monthly for you and your friends to battle against the clock. The message centre will tell you when one of your friends has crushed your score so you can jump back in a have another go at it. The Car Club is a new feature which let you and your boys team up and compete against other clubs on live, and also share cars through club garage. These cars can be used online and in arcade mode which is handy. The auction house, decals, tuning and online racing for the most part is still intact from the last couple games. Couple things to bitch about here, the game just hands out cars like nobodies business. Every driver level you earn up to 50 you are given a choice of 4-5 cars and get the choice to pick one. That’s great and all but it just nerfs the whole experiences of having to grind for your cars and parts. By mid to the end of your season you will have tons of cars, no problem! Manufacture bonuses for racing makes of cars also makes it easier to buy parts for your car. The cap is 50, but by the time you hit 5-7 all your parts for that company are basically free, so your are swimming in money and can buy anything for your car, which isn’t that bad, just too easy for me. What’s the point of having a level cap of 50 when all you are earning are badges for your player card? It totally takes the “CarPG” element, which I love, out of the game a little. Besides that, I think the game is fucking sick! I’m online tearing up the leaderboards and cranking the boost, leaving fools in my dust all day. One more thing, putting “Better with Kinect” on the front this box, is a fucking LIE!

“Do a Barrel Roll”

I’ve recently hit level 36 and it’s getting rough not throwing in spoilers. Suffice to say I joined the Stormcloak Rebellion, as the ‘Fool is all about the underdog. The Stormcloaks don’t give a damn if I’m a werewolf,actually there hasn’t been an actual downside I highly recommend this style of play. That being said I’ve accidentally become a daedra worshipper! The daedra are basically a crazy pantheon of people who demand weird shit,yet the rewards are sweet. Somewhat like my home life. I think the family option would be a cool DLC! You could start a dynasty to rival the good old days of Jordan and the Bulls. You would have holiday shit to put up with just like real life. All these holidays are taking up some serious game time! You know what I’m most thankful for? The chance to play Skyrim ’till the sun comes up. So far an excellent time is what you will get from the Skyrim experience. I’ll let you know if my character gets sent to Oblivion for worshipping demons. So Ladies and Gentleman I bid you good gaming. See next time same place same station.

I’ve been playing like an addict,insomnia,shakes,and of course the sweats. I’ve created a new class of hero the Gigilo! I bought some chick in Whiterun for the princely sum of 200 gold pieces for an amulet of Mara. Put the necklace on ask damn near anybody and damned if you’re not married! I had to buy my lady a new house,all kinds of furniture. In short like a real marriage. My wife opened up a store in my damn house, I would have got rid of her but she gives me money! So far I feel like a viking pimp, I’m wondering if polygamy is cool in the ‘Rim? I’m currently at level 26, the level progression has slowed down considerably. Now I’m reduced to becoming a zombie like creature wandering from mission to mission. I’m going to get some damn sleep, I know my back is going to kill me if I pass out while gaming again! Happy Holidays , i’m most thankful for the chance to sleep, game and watch the mighty Lions kick some ass.

Ballsrog gives you a sample of the awesomeness that Skyrim has to offer!

Hey all it’s the ‘Fool dropping the serious knowledge that my readers crave! It’s been a while and for that I am sorry,Now that I’ve dropped the cable service that has been reaming me for a far superior service I see no further problems. In celebration of my new net friendly provider I’m devoting a whole month to THE game of all games Skyrim. My alter ego Draco Viperhand has been quite busy for the first 30 hours of game time. I’ve been increasing my Alchemy & Smithing talents. I’ve come up from churning out more cheap steel than China too banging out some bad ass magical armor and weaponry. This is the game all Roleplayers have dreamed of and then some! I know some will say I’ve jumped on the Skyrim wagon,but I’ve been killing my social life since Elder Scrolls One. I’ve also decided lycanthrope is for me and have been murdering my way thru dungeons and forts ever since. I haven’t found the negative side of werewolves yet. These weres are more the Howling type weres instead of the new style big fluffy dogs of Twilight. Jesus MY dogs are scarier and they are all 30 pounds and under! I also want to say the collectors guide is well worth the coin if you are serious about killing every part of this immense game. All the previous guides for Elder Scrolls have ALL lost pages,but there’s no fear with my new guide. plus it’s great for clubbing baby seals. Relax I’m too damn lazy to actually do physical activity! I hope to play the game twice as much, so I will have plenty of ammo for next week.Till then I’m gonna smoke one and look for the Ballsrog constellation, legend says if you find it Ballsrog shows up with a special mission : drink your own body weight with malt liquor.